Field notes from
the assimilation.
— essays and explainers on French-American life — written by her, approved by him, slowly.
French vs. American Food Culture: The Complete Field Guide
Every question we have answered about the two food systems, organised the way the confusion actually arrives. If you only read one thing, read this one.
Read the field guide →Nothing yet on that. He is considering it.
Browse by subject: Beauty · Field Notes · Food & Family · How-To · La Tribune
Is Justin Bieber French?
Right in American, wrong in French. A ruling from a woman who married an actual one.
Read → Field Notes7 minWhy do French kids get two weeks off in October?
Seven weeks on, two weeks off. American children get a long weekend and then Thanksgiving.
Read → Field Notes7 minWhy do Americans drive hours to look at leaves?
A $2 billion season in New Hampshire alone. France has the trees and no word for it.
Read → Field Notes6 minWhy do the clocks change on different days in France and America?
For one week Paris is five hours ahead, not six. Congress did it for Halloween.
Read → Food & Family7 minWhy French bread is a legal definition
Flour, water, salt, yeast. A 1993 decree says so, and the plain baguette is not covered.
Read → Food & Family8 minWhy don’t Americans eat their pumpkins?
Two billion pounds grown a year. 1.3 billion thrown away. In France it is dinner.
Read → Field Notes8 minWhy Americans pay to pick apples and the French pay to drink them
One country sells you the labour. The other sells you the result.
Read → Food & Family9 minExplaining Thanksgiving to a Frenchman
Forty-six million turkeys in a day, and no cheese course. He had notes.
Read → Field Notes7 minWhy do Americans decorate their houses for every season?
$4.3 billion on Halloween decorations alone. France has no such aisle.
Read → Food & Family8 minWhy is American food so sweet?
The objection is not the sugar. It is that the sugar will not stay in its course.
Read → Food & Family6 minAvocat aux crevettes
The French shrimp-stuffed avocado, and the sauce he refuses to call ketchup.
Read → Field Notes8 minWhy do Americans wear pajamas in public?
Not laziness. The suburbs removed the audience that used to police the boundary.
Read → Food & Family9 minThe American cheese my French husband actually approves of
A Vermont blue was served to the French president at his own state dinner. He went quiet.
Read → Food & Family7 minWhy do the French dunk their croissants in coffee?
The bowl exists because of it. A mug is too narrow to get a tartine into.
Read → Field Notes8 minWhy do Parisian women dress up to buy bread?
Not vanity. Half of Paris walks everywhere. Nine in ten American errands happen in a car.
Read → Food & Family9 minSeven French foods Americans refuse to eat
I asked the comment section what he should try next. Nobody suggested a crêpe.
Read → Field Notes8 minAmerican stores that make no sense to a Frenchman
A shop the size of a football pitch selling petrol, brisket and a wall of beaver merchandise.
Read → Beauty8 minDo French women get Botox?
“French women just don’t tell.” Six words, more replies than the reel got. What the data actually says.
Read → Field Notes8 minWhy French teenagers sit outside and American teenagers went to the mall
He spent his adolescence on a chair facing a street. I spent mine in a building with no windows.
Read → Food & Family9 min10 classic French appetizers every American should try
A perfectly normal French appetizer can apparently cause an international incident. By Sacha.
Read → Beauty7 minWhy do women cut their hair after having a baby?
Four months after our third boy I cut it into a layered bob and did not tell my French husband.
Read → Food & Family6 minRadishes with butter and salt: the French snack that is not a snack
Three ingredients, no cooking, and a small argument about which order they go in.
Read → Food & Family7 minFrench snacks: what they actually eat, and when
There is no snack drawer. There are two scheduled events and a great deal of butter.
Read → Field Notes6 minFrench vs American beach day: he brought a towel
I brought a wagon. He brought a towel. He asked where the beach club was.
Read → Field Notes7 minWhy don’t the French have air conditioning?
A quarter of French homes have it. Ninety percent of American ones do.
Read → Field Notes5 minWhy don’t the French put ice in drinks?
He asked for water. It arrived at the temperature of a room. He was delighted.
Read → Field Notes6 minHow much vacation do French people actually get?
Five weeks. By law. He says this the way other people say the time.
Read → Food & Family5 minDo French people like pumpkin spice?
I explained the season has a flavour. He asked which season.
Read → How-To6 minTipping in France vs America
Service is in the price by law. The machine still asks him a question.
Read → Field Notes5 minIs Halloween a thing in France?
It exists there the way cricket exists here. Technically. Somewhere.
Read → Field Notes6 minWhy don’t French people make small talk?
A cashier asked how his day was going. He answered honestly, at length.
Read → Food & Family6 minFrench vs American portion sizes: why his plate looks empty
Smaller plates, no refills, one serving. Not discipline — design.
Read → Food & Family5 minDo French people snack?
Mostly no. Children get one scheduled snack. Adults get an opinion about it.
Read → Food & Family7 minDid American gentle parenting change French parents?
For a decade Americans read French parenting books. France was reading ours.
Read → Field Notes6 minLa rentrée vs American back-to-school
One country eases in over three weeks. The other restarts on a Monday.
Read → Beauty5 minWhat is Biafine, and why is everyone using it wrong?
In France it lives next to the burn dressings. In America it went viral as a glow cream.
Read → Beauty7 minWhat to actually buy in a French pharmacy
What French people actually buy there, and what the viral lists get wrong.
Read → Food & Family6 minWhy do French kids walk to school alone?
He was sent for bread at seven. I was not allowed to check the mailbox.
Read → Field Notes5 minWhy is everything closed in August in France?
The bakery has a note on the door. It has been there since 31 July.
Read → Field Notes6 minThe French grading system, explained
He got a 12 and his mother was pleased. This required explaining twice.
Read → Beauty6 minIs European sunscreen better than American sunscreen?
He brings it back in his suitcase. I thought this was a personality trait.
Read → Field Notes6 minFrench Bottled Water vs American: What the Labels Say
Evian, Fiji, Dasani, Poland Spring and one energy drink he did not consent to. Labels covered. Evian won.
Read → Field Notes5 minFrench Teenagers vs American Teenagers
He came of age in Paris cafés without a car. She came of age in a Honda. The archive says they would have dated anyway.
Read → Field Notes5 minDo French People Wear Shoes in the House?
The internet caught him - loafers, indoors, unbothered. Both countries filed complaints. We investigated.
Read → La Tribune4 minWhat My Father Taught Me About Dressing
The comments have questions about his clothes. The answers belong to his father. By Sacha - the shirt stays tucked.
Read → Field Notes5 minWhy Do French Men Dress So Well? It Started at Seven
A father in fashion, one rule about belts, and a boy who grew up thinking loafers are casual. The comments finally get their answer.
Read → La Tribune5 minSeven American Things I Will Never Understand — by Sacha
His first column, in his own words: the leaf blower, aerosol cheese, iced coffee in January. Filed as a formal objection.
Read → La Tribune3 minThe Correct Foods: Official Rankings, by Owen, Age 4
Mussels first (the shells), Babybel second (you unwrap it yourself), and soup, which is a door to bread.
Read → La Tribune2 minA Statement from Harry, Age 2 (Translated)
Fromage. NON. Encore. Delivered from under the table, translated by his mother, ratified by yogurt.
Read → Food & Family4 minWhy Is French Butter Better? It's Actually the Law
82% by law, cultured by tradition, salted by the sea - and the tub that confesses.
Read → Food & Family4 minThe French Cheese Course, Explained
Why cheese comes after dinner, what goes on a weeknight board, and the 6 PM cheese board incident.
Read → Field Notes4 minDo French People Eat Fast Food? Yes, and Here's How
France is one of McDo's best markets on Earth. The difference is the chair.
Read → Food & Family4 minThe French Kids' Bedtime: Why 8 PM Actually Works
Dinner at 8, bed by 8:45, no negotiation. We investigated the wall.
Read → Food & Family4 minWhat a Typical French Dinner Actually Looks Like
Soup, an omelette, three cheeses, a pear, forty-five minutes. The national trick, explained.
Read → Food & Family5 minWhat French Kids Eat for School Lunch (Real Menus)
Four courses, thirty minutes, a published menu - la cantine explained, and the day he read 'Bosco sticks.'
Read → Field Notes5 minWhy Are French People Thin? The Real Answer Is the Schedule
Not willpower, not wine, not genes. The real answer to the internet's favorite question is a timetable.
Read → Food & Family4 minWhat Do French People Eat for Breakfast?
A tartine, a coffee, and the conviction that eggs are dinner. Also: the truth about daily croissants.
Read → Field Notes5 min7 American Things French People Secretly Love
The leaked inventory of his enthusiasms - produce aisles, free refills, strangers who say hello.
Read → Food & Family5 minRaising Bilingual Kids in French and English
OPOL, honestly: what worked, what flopped, and the four-year-old who corrects my accent.
Read → Food & Family4 minWhat time do the French actually eat dinner?
Eight o'clock, kids included. Why late dinner is French infrastructure — and the 7 PM armistice our marriage runs on.
Read → Food & Family4 minWhy French kids eat what adults eat
No nugget menu, no negotiation, one magic phrase. How French kids learn to eat everything — and what happens at a clam shack.
Read → Field Notes5 minThe American grocery store, through French eyes
The carts, the cold, the creamer wall, and the one aisle he genuinely respects. The full field report.
Read → Field Notes5 minWhat the French really think of American coffee
A two-sip nation meets the 32-ounce iced latte. His findings on drive-thrus, Dunkin', and coffee with borders.
Read → How-To4 minThe French goûter, from an American grocery store
The 4 PM formula rebuilt from a US supermarket — approved swaps, failed inspections, and why the schedule is the culture.
Read → Food · Family4 minWhat Is a Goûter? The French After-School Snack, Explained by a French Dad
France schedules its snacking. America grazes. Inside the 4 p.m. institution my husband refuses to abandon — and what our kids eat instead of Goldfish.
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